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Transformers - Fading

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Jul. 10th, 2007 | 03:05 am
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: Naked - Goo Goo Dolls
posted by: nograviity in toigniteasoul

Title: Fading
Fandom: Transformers 2007
Prompt: Naked - Goo Goo Dolls
Characters/Pairings: Sam Witwicky, Bumblebee, one sided Sam/Mikaela, one sided Bumblebee/Sam
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,772
Summary: Alcohol and Depression can turn ugly.
A/N: Post-movie, spoiler-ish.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.


Yeah I'm hiding
in the fallout
Now I'm wasted
They don't need me, don't want me, don't hear a word I say


Awhile-back Sam had bought a beat up 1976 Chevy Camaro. Well technically he only bought half of it, his dad paid for the other half seeing as it was his first car and all. When he had slid into the seat of the rusted car and gripped the steering wheel for the first time, he never in his wildest dreams imagined he would end up saving the world. Yet somehow he had been dragged into an intergalactic war between a race of giant transforming robots, one of which was his new car. During this whole mess he had managed to snag his dream girl, and for while things had been great. That was until Mikaela realized they were really different and the only thing in common they had was that stupid intergalactic war they had been dragged into. Soon enough Sam had found himself broken hearted and spiraling into depression.

His car had been fantastic help. Bumblebee had comforted Sam the best a giant robot from outer space could, but he didn't think his friend could really understand how he felt. He didn't think Bumblebee understood what it felt like to have a gaping hole in your chest, aching constantly, making breathing difficult, to feel so lost hopeless and insignificant. The Autobot promptly informed him of the magnificent feats Sam had done, but it didn't make him feel better. It wasn't like anyone knew what he did. He was still picked on at school, a loser. His parents didn't trust him as well as they used too, they knew he was hiding something big, something they should know. He had no friends outside the Autobots; he had chased Miles away with his awkwardly lame excuses for why he couldn't hang out, or why his car seemed to have a mind of its own. He wasn't even sure the Autobots were really friends anyways. He was the fragile little human they had to protect, who was a pretty large target for Decepticon attack. It wouldn't surprise anyone if some of the Decepticons had a vendetta against Sam after destroying Megatron and the Allspark.

Sometimes, Sam wondered if it would be easier on everyone if he didn't exist.

So it was on one night, when Bumblebee was spending time with the other Autobots alone, and his parents had gone to bed early, Sam had snuck into his parent's liquor cabinet, grabbing a bottle of vodka. He had never drank before, it wasn't like he was invited to parties or anything, but he decided now was a good enough time to start as any. He and quickly grabbed his sweatshirt and hiked out to the Overlook, feeling secure with the knowledge that the Autobots were at Captain Lennox's home and no one else ever came to this region willingly.

He plopped himself on the edge of the cliff trying not to think about all the bad thoughts bouncing in his head as he eyed the alcohol nervously. He wasn't sure how he would react to it, but he was told it was a great picker upper and had seen it drag his mother out of the worst of moods. So he quickly downed as much as he could in one gulp deciding to get it done and over with. He nearly spat it back out but forced it down. It tasted horrible and burned on the way down. How any one drank this was beyond him. He decided to take slower sips, and without anything else to occupy his mind, it began to wander once again.

He wondered how Mikaela was fairing with her new boyfriend, how beautiful she would look at prom, how he would never understand and appreciate her the way he could. Taking another swig he contemplated calling her. He pulled out his phone, fingers clumsily running over it. He snorted in amusement when he accidentally dropped it and it began to bounce down the side of the cliff before coming to a rest 50 feet later. So much for calling her. He wondered if she was thinking about him? If she ever did at all, probably didn't. She was pretty mad at him last he had spoken to her. His inability to handle the breakup and remain friends with her had caused her relationship with the Autobots to be strained, and it was pretty hard for her to catch up with them. Sam rubbed his face and drank some more, finding it easier to take larger sips.

He had made it worse by informing her she couldn’t stop by and visit Bumblebee. It wasn't that he didn't want them hanging out, well it may have been a little of that, but it was mostly because his parents began asking why his ex-girlfriend was outside with his car. He felt like he was disappointing his parents more and more each day. Tonight would only add to the growing list of disappointment. He wished he could tell them he saved the world, that his car was a giant robot alien, but he was sworn to secrecy by the government. He imagined that little bit of knowledge would send his parents over the mood with pride, but instead he was the disappointment child. He punched the ground and tears seemed to come a little too easy.

He was a loser, he had no friends, no girlfriend, his parents were disappointed in him, he was picked on a beat up in school, his grades were slipping miserably, and he felt so utterly alone in the world. His head buzzed and felt slightly disconnected, but he couldn’t concentrate on the new sensation, only the anger and hurt. He was just a stupid miserable pathetic insignificant bug. He would never be recognized as the hero, he would never get the girl of his dreams, he couldn't even keep friends. He wished he could just breathe, but his chest hurt so badly, it was suffocating him.

He got up, wobbling unsteadily, and threw the bottle at the lone tree. Nothing, he was nothing. The pain would never go away, he would be miserable for the rest of his life. He just wanted it to stop right now. He hurt so much. No one really cared about him anyways, no one listened, no one thought he mattered. He was nuisance, a chore. He just needed everything to, stop.

He pitched forward, not sure if he decided to or if his wobbly legs had sent him over the edge, but he was falling now. He would bounce off the cliff multiple times just like his phone had. They would find his broken and battered body and complain about cleaning up the mess, and that would be the end of everyone having to waste their lives taking care of poor pathetic Sam Witwicky.

He was surprised when the first landing didn’t hurt as much as it should, or when he didn't bounce and hit the wall again, or the fact that the falling sensation was gone all together. Blinking back his tears and glancing around in confusion he realized he never did hit that rock wall. Instead he was secure in the massive grip of a metallic hand, squeezing gently around his midsection. Looking up he saw the confused blue optics of Bumblebee, who was leaning off the cliff, looking almost ready to fall himself. The robot pulled himself up, gently carrying Sam away from the dangerous cliff. He made a concerned noise, but didn't set Sam down. The boy vaguely wondered when the giant robot had arrived, he certainly hadn't noticed.

"Sam?" Bumblebee questioned, looking searchingly at the human. Sam didn't say anything and tried to look away from the Autobot. "Sam, why were you jumping off the cliff?"

"I don't know." Sam muttered ashamed he had been caught.

"You must have a reason. One wouldn't perform such an act that would surely result in the end of one's life without reason." Bumblebee logically informed him.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." He just wanted to be left alone. Why was it, when he wanted to be alone, no one would give him peace, but when he felt lonely everyone avoided him like the plague?

"I'm your guardian, it's my job to worry about such an act." Sam didn't respond and the Autobot's concern grew. "Sam..."

"It's nothing! Alright!? Nothing!" His face was rapidly heating up and his eyes were filling with tears as he became rigid. "I just thought I would make life easier on everyone! I know I'm a bother, why not make it easier on everyone, stop watching the pathetic human, stop wasting our lives protecting him!"

He could hear gears whirling as Bumblebee gave him a surprised look, obviously not sure how to respond to the accusations. There was a moment of silence before he spoke. "Sam, I had a choice in whether I wanted to stay with you or not. A choice I made willingly, one I decided on all on my own. I wanted to stay with you, you are my friend."

Sam choked on a laugh as the tears started to fall. "Friend? You don't need to lie to me Bumblebee. I know I'm just a pathetic little bug to you that you're required to protect. I was trying to make your life easier!"

"You not existing would make my life worse rather than better, do you not consider me a friend?"

"Just put me down Bumblebee." Was all Sam replied with, and the Autobot made a low whirling sound that almost seemed sad. With an air of defeat the mechanical being set his young charge down.

"I will always be your friend Sam, despite what you may think." He transformed into a 2008 Chevy Camaro, and swung his driver door open.

Licking his lips Sam considered his options, he could get in the car, or he could walk back. His eyes felt heavy from the alcohol, and he wasn't sure he could make it back on his own, but if he got in the car there was no telling what Bumblebee would do. He could be spending the next several hours locked in a car listening to a lecture. He wavered before the engine revved worriedly. He wobbly stumbled into the car and leaned back in the seat. It took off casually, and the radio knob spun landing on something soothing. Glad when a lecture didn't appear he let his eyes shut and quickly drifted off, not aware that his mechanical friend now knew exactly how Sam felt when he was overwhelmed by a huge emptiness that left it difficult to breath.


:(

I started this when I was awake, and now that I just finished I feel like I'm about to drop, so I'm assuming the quality dropped with me. I'll look it over in the morning.

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Comments {2}

NiYan

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from: keitsu
date: Sep. 18th, 2007 01:43 am (UTC)
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i honestly, honestly am surprised to find this fabulous fic. Very well written.
It would be lovely if this is shared with the other members to this pairing / fandom.

Would you mind if I introduce to you a community who strive to read this to live? (I am one of them)

http://community.livejournal.com/beexsam

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Ky

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from: nograviity
date: Nov. 17th, 2007 03:40 am (UTC)
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sorry I didn't find this until now, the notification system apparently didn't work for some reason.

lol, I already know very well about that community, I was one of the first few to join and post in the first week of it. I just don't like to post my fics outside of this community usually. I think I posted one at beexsam but it didn't get enough of a response for me to feel comfortable posting more fics. I mostly post my art there.
http://community.livejournal.com/beexsam/tag/poster:+tolightacandle
My art is also featured in the community info :) But good job spreading the BeexSam gospel! I've gotten extremely lazy about the beexsam fandom lately, I should draw something. *hums thoughtfully*

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